Coping with Political Stress: Therapy for Queer Texans

By: Kimberly Harkey

It feels like every time you blink there’s more news about laws, policies, or discussions about taking away rights from LGBTQIA+ folks in Texas. It never relents and feels exhausting. Add to that that there is a national election right now. Politicians are trying to say all the things to get the votes they need and that often includes some ill-informed or well-informed and hateful comments about the queer community.

Not to mention how stressful it can be to live in Texas as a queer person when it isn’t an election season. Queer people know all too well the stress that can come from existing. Vetting new friends, choosing who you disclose what to, worrying about losing rights, and providing coworkers with education on the LGTBQIA+ community (or the stress of setting a boundary to not provide education) are just a few of the daily stressors. It all can be exhausting and stressful.

Queer people that hold certain identities may also face oppression for their race, disability, neurodivergence, or culture. Queer people of color face more bias than white queer folks in Texas. Neurodivergence is more common in the queer community and adds stress of trying to conform to neurotypical standards. Having a disability and being queer means dealing with homophobia and ableism.

So with all the reasons to be stressed, what can you expect from therapy?

Choosing a Therapist

If you don’t already have a therapist, finding one can be intimidating. Some may get lucky by typing in ‘queer affirming therapy in [my city]’ on Google. There are a few ways that may help you narrow your search ever further though:

• Inclusive Therapists : Their directory helps you narrow down by cultural knowledge, insurance, or focus.
• Asking a provider you trust for a referral: If you have a queer affirming PCP, Ob/gyn, or psychiatrist, they may be able to point you toward a queer affirming therapist that they have vetted and trust.

While you’re searching, you may find yourself reading therapist profiles and trying to determine if they really are LGTBQ affirming or if it is just a buzz word they are using. You find yourself looking for clues as you read their profiles and bios. The extra vetting is one more contributing factor to the exhaustion of being queer.

Reading through their website and bios is a great first step. After doing this, you can narrow it down to a few therapists and book a consultation call. (See my blog on what to expect on a consultation call. )Use the consultation call to ask the tough questions and get an idea of how experienced the therapist is in working with LGBT folks and if they’re a good fit for you.

What to Expect in Therapy

This is your space. Therapy can be the safe space where you can let your guard down. You don’t need to filter your thoughts, hide who you are, or worry about what the therapist will think of you. This is your space to process all your stress of being queer, of the election year, and of whatever else is stressing you out right now.

Can you talk about politics in therapy?

ABSOLUTELY! Therapy won’t be the place for a debate or diving into the minutia of politics. It is the perfect place to process your stress, uncertainty, frustration, hurt, or any other feelings about the election. All are fair game for therapy. Common emotions that come up in therapy around election time in Texas (and across the US):

• Fear of changes that may happen after the election if certain policies are enacted
• Hurt that family members are voting for individuals trying to take away 2SLGBTQIA+ rights
• Anger at comments said by politicians, family, friend, or neighbors
• Anger at how current policies affect you and ones you love
• Anxiety about the unknown and waiting during the campaigns
• Fear of getting your hopes up about election outcomes
• Hopelessness about the future
• Apathy toward politics
• Existential angst about the bigger meaning of life
• Hope for the future
• Joy in finding community while volunteering for campaigns

What else might be helpful in therapy?

Often when we talk about politics in therapy, a sense of helplessness comes up. Political policies affect all of us. Yet, beyond voting, it can feel like we don’t have much control over the situation. In therapy, we may talk about what is in your control and ways that you want to contribute. It may be volunteering for a phone bank, making a donation to a campaign, writing postcards, knocking on doors, calling your representatives, or attending a rally. When deciding, here are a few things to consider:

• How much time do you have to put into this?
• Which ways to contribute play to your strengths? (Are you extroverted for door knocking or introverted and like postcard writing?)
• Which issues are most important to you?

Living in Texas, many people feel like their vote doesn’t matter. So, maybe you want to spend your time in therapy on bigger or smaller picture issues than the election. You and your therapist can also explore your longer term goals. What kind of impact do you want to leave behind in the world? What do you value most dearly? Influencing an election is not the only way to create the world you want to see. You may identify many other ways that fit your vision of a perfect world or help to achieve it on a micro-scale much sooner.

Conclusion

Navigating life as a queer person in Texas, particularly during an election season, can feel overwhelming and isolating. The constant barrage of political discourse and legislation aimed at undermining LGBTQIA+ rights adds layers of stress to daily existence. However, therapy offers a vital refuge—a space to explore these challenges without judgment. It allows individuals to process their feelings about the political landscape and its impact on their lives while empowering them to identify actionable steps they can take, both personally and within their communities.

By choosing a therapist who is affirming and knowledgeable, you can create a supportive environment where your unique experiences are validated and explored. Remember, your feelings about the world around you are valid, and therapy can be a powerful tool in reclaiming your sense of agency, hope, and community in these turbulent times.