Looking for a therapist? What to expect on a consultation call

By: Kimberly Harkey

You’ve found some therapists that could be good matches and scheduled a consultation call. Now what? Navigating the US healthcare system to find a therapist can take a lot of time and energy. You’ve made it through finding a therapist that takes your insurance or fits your pay range, narrowing down which ones specialize in the areas you want to work on, and scheduling  a few consultation calls. You’ve already put in the work and you haven’t even talked to a real therapist yet. 

What can you expect next?

The consultation call is usually 15-20 minutes and conducted via phone or televideo. This time is your time to get the information you need to help you find a therapist that you feel good about working with. This is, after all, the person you’re going to be opening up to and getting feedback from. You want to use this time to make sure this is someone you could see yourself talking to about past trauma, current insecurities, that thing you’ve never told anyone, and everything in between. 

Reflection moment: This can be a great time to think about what you’re looking for in a therapist that would help you feel safe to open up to move toward your goals. Do you want someone gentle or direct? Structured or open ended? What qualities do other safe people in your life have? What qualities do those who have helped you grow have?

What will happen in the call? 

Usually the calls are a mixture of sharing a brief overview of what brings you to therapy and asking the therapist questions. You want to share a small snippet about what is bringing you to therapy. You don’t need to go into details, but you do want to share enough so that the therapist can get a feel for if they have the knowledge and experience to help you. There’s no right amount to share. Disclose what you feel comfortable with. 

Reflection moment after you share: This is also your time to gauge how you feel while you share. The relationship with your therapist is one of the key indicators for the success of therapy. Part of the consultation call is a vibe check. Did you feel safe with the therapist? Trust your gut and pay attention to how you felt. Did you feel seen? Did you feel ignored? 

After that, you get to take the reigns and ask all the questions. It’s your therapy journey and there are no stupid questions, so ask away. All the things that may seem taboo to talk about outside of therapy are fair game here. Race, religion, diagnosis, sexuality  are all on the table. If there’s a part of your identity that you want to make sure is safe in therapy, ask your therapist about their experience or knowledge about it during the consultation call. Their answer will help tell you their knowledge level, comfort, and any biases. 

There’s already a few helpful consultation call guides out there that are full of a broad range of questions to ask your therapist on the call:

Questions for neurodivergent affirming therapists

Dr. Raquel Martin’s Guide for Finding a Therapist

Inclusive Therapist’s Guide

Expansive Expressions’ Guide

Jeff Guenther’s (TherapyJeff on Insta) Guide

The therapist may also have a few questions for you. They may want to use this time to make sure they’re a good fit and they feel confident they can help you. 

A few questions I make sure to ask as a therapist:

How often do you want to meet?

Some therapists will only meet weekly, will only have availability for monthly, or will have certain requirements for you to schedule recurring appointments. Being on the same page about this before starting therapy helps everyone understand the expectations up front.

Would you like to use insurance or private pay? 

This helps everyone be on the same page for finances. The therapist can help you navigate fees or in-network/out of network costs. Therapy is a way to invest in yourself, but you also don’t want to create a financial stress for yourself with therapy costs. If finances are tight, asking about sliding scale or out of network reimbursement may be a helpful place to start. 

Are you looking for in person or virtual appointments?

Some therapists do only virtual, only office, walk and talks, or a mixture of both.As a client, you probably have a preference and want to make sure the therapist has availability for what you’re looking for.

Have you been to therapy before? What was helpful or what was not?

I ask clients this to get a feel for what has worked for them. Is it something I feel comfortable providing or something I don’t normally do? I also want to know what hasn’t worked for clients in the past to make sure I don’t repeat unhelpful patterns for them.

How do you want to use the therapy time? 

As a therapist, I’m curious to hear how you envision our time together. Do you want homework every week? Do you want space to vent? Do you want me to jump in or give you time to talk as long as you need? These are all things we can figure out as we work together. It’s helpful to hear in the consultation call in case I know up front that my therapy approach doesn’t fit what you’re envisioning. 

What about after the consultation call?

Some people do one consultation call. Some people do many (like speed dating therapists!). Do what feels right to you. At the end of the consultation call, you can schedule an intake or let the therapist know you want time to think and will circle back to schedule when you have made a decision. It’s totally up to you. This is an important decision so you want to feel good about it.

Last reflection moment: How do you normally make decisions? Does trusting your gut work best? Do you want to look at all the options or go with the first one that feels good?