By: Kimberly Harkey
Unmasking Autism has been one of my favorite books to discuss in the therapy room in recent months. Devon Price dives into breaking down misconceptions about Autism and widening our view of what Autism can look like. He brings new research that helps expand what Autism looks like beyond the research done on straight, white males. He also brings a social justice lens to the discussion that lets us look at Autism from a broader lens, creating room for systems discussions and advocacy. Here are a few of my favorite quotes to discuss both in and outside of therapy.
“Refusing to perform neurotypicality is a revolutionary act of disability justice. It’s also a radical act of self love.”
This line stopped me in my tracks. Not exaggerating. I had to take a few deep breaths and pause. What power there is in showing up as a neurodivergent human in this world. This quote brings home what a different world we would have if everyone were free to be themselves.
In a world that can feel so harsh and painful, it feels grounding to have one thing to focus on to be able to impact societal views towards being more accepting. There are SO MANY ways to advocate for a more just world, for a world that is built with all of our brains in mind. It can be overwhelming to begin to think about where to start with advocating (especially when decision fatigue is present). So, what if, showing up as yourself was the best place to start? What if that was radical in and of itself? How freeing to not have to get stuck in where to begin or sign up for more than you have capacity for.
“You probably also recognize that there are real, material risks to letting your disability be visible, particularly if you occupy a marginalized position in society. You might associate authenticity with being unsafe for incredibly rational reasons, and not be sure how and when unmasking could be worth it for you.”
This brings the nuance to the conversation about unmasking that is so necessary. No caveats needed: unmasking is not always safe. How safe it feels will vary in situations and be different for marginalized people. The goal does not have to be to unmask 100% of the time. In the therapy room, we talk often about creating awareness of the mask and increasing the ability to choose when you wear the mask and when you don’t. You may feel safe taking off the mask around your Autistic friends, but not your neurotypical friends at first. You may never feel safe taking it off around certain people. That’s ok. It isn’t all or nothing. Only you get to choose when you mask and when you unmask.
‘A big part of unmasking will mean facing those qualities you loathe the most in yourself, and working to see them as neutral, or even as strengths.’
People with Autism are told their whole life to be different than who they are. These messages get internalized and become a part of how you view yourself. The beauty of unmasking is getting to challenge those views of yourself and beginning to shine light on the very real strengths you have to offer. This can feel scary and be profoundly healing.
In therapy, you may start to work on accepting the things people have told you they don’t like or that are abnormal. This can feel tender and painful at first. It can be hard to see the future version of yourself that embraces how your brain works and feels comfortable being yourself in public. There’s a part of you that wants you to stay small, stay masked. It feels safe. In therapy, we get to work at your pace. There’s no rush to unmask. You can take all the time you need and do it small steps that feel safe. It’s your journey.
If you’ve never heard of masking and want to know more, click here.
“As much as heteronormativity harms straight and queer folks alike, neurotypicality hurts people no matter their mental health status.”
Living in a world built for neurotypical folks is easier for neurotypical folks AND it stifles potential for all people. What a beautiful world it would be if everyone felt free to exist in ways that work for their brains. What if we all felt comfortable challenging norms and stepping outside the box?
This applies in all areas of life. What if you knew asking your boss to send out an agenda for meetings beforehand would benefit everyone? Would you be more likely to speak up? Knowing that the small boxes we are expected to fit into hurts everyone, can be empowering in helping you speak up to start changing the system.
“Most therapists are not trained to work with Autistic adults, and many of them harbor very shallow, outdated understandings of what the neurotype is. Therapists and counselors need far more robust training in serving the needs of Autistic patients, and modifying or replacing treatments that rarely work for us (such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) with those better suited to our needs.”
Just here to say this is true. Most therapists don’t receive enough training on Autism in grad school. It’s important to find a therapist that has done additional learning and can show up in a way that creates a safe and affirming space for you.
“We can push for social norms to be widened, until we reach the point that autism is viewed as a neutral face about a person’s being, on par with needing glasses or having freckles.”
With so much stigma around Autism, sometimes the first response after a diagnosis (either formal or self diagnosis) is fear and shame. If we saw Autism as one of many equal neurotypes with its own unique struggles like other neurotypes, it would feel less intimidating to be diagnosed. You would react to finding out your neurotype is Autism the way you react to find our your Enneagram number or MBTI. How freeing could that be?
Conclusion:
Unmasking Autism invites us to rethink not only how we view Autism, but how we view humanity as a whole. The quotes shared here have sparked deep, meaningful conversations in the therapy room—conversations about authenticity, safety, advocacy, and healing. This book challenges the norms that often go unquestioned and offers a vision for a more expansive, compassionate world—one where all neurotypes are seen, supported, and celebrated. Whether you’re navigating your own unmasking journey or supporting someone else through theirs, may these words offer both grounding and encouragement. Small steps matter. Showing up as yourself matters. And creating space for others to do the same is nothing short of revolutionary.
Roseate Therapy 
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