Surprising Ways Therapy Can Help with ADHD

By: Kimberly Harkey

When getting diagnosed with ADHD late in life, it can be overwhelming to figure out what to do with this information. Often, people start with medication or look into an ADHD coach, and yet, therapy with a neurodiversity affirming therapist that specializes in ADHD can be a great place to get help in so many ways.

Building Healthy Habits and Routines

Therapists are trained in helping people change behavior, cope with overwhelming emotions, and develop habits that work for them. A neurodiversity affirming therapist who specializes in ADHD is trained to help you leverage the things your brain does well in a way that works for you. You and your therapist can collaborate on finding systems that help you organize your life, maintain a schedule, or complete tasks that seem to be impossible to complete.

While every neurodivergent individual is different, individuals with ADHD often struggle with staying on top of regular tasks in life. It may be difficult to stay on top of dishes, get your laundry hung up and out of the basket, or paying bills on time. A neurodiversity affirming therapist for ADHD can work with you to develop strategies for getting tedious and mundane tasks done.

One strategy may be habit stacking. If you have a habit that’s already working for you, can you add in a new habit to that same routine? This may look like adding flossing to your nightly skincare routine or taking your medication with your coffee each morning. This is only one strategy. Your neurodiversity affirming therapist can work with you to find the strategy that works for your unique brain.

Overcoming Procrastination

ADHD brains often have a hard time finding motivation for tasks that sound daunting. You may notice an instant dread arise when you think of renewing your driver’s license or getting your oil changed. A therapist can work with you to notice the dread, be present to it, and then choose to do the thing anyway. Sounds so simple in writing, but it’s never that easy in real life. That’s where a therapist fits in and can help you figure out your barriers and how to overcome them.

One strategy that I often talk about with clients when trying to complete a task that feels Herculean is finding ways to add in something that brings them joy when they complete the tedious task. This may be listening to an audiobook while folding laundry, playing your favorite video game for 30 minutes if you pay all your bills, or taking a bubble bath after getting your car’s oil changed.

Emotion regulation

Individuals with ADHD often experience difficulty regulating emotions. Therapists are always here for the feelings. You’ve seen our feeling wheel pillows and heard all the jokes about a therapist’s favorite question being ‘How do you feel about that?’ We’re well prepared for big feelings. One theory of ADHD is that part of it is due to an innate sensitivity that individuals are born with (see Gabor Mate.) ADHD individuals often notice themselves feeling high highs and low lows.

A neurodiversity affirming therapist can help identify coping skills, find patterns, and get to the root of what may be causing the distress. In therapy, you’ll find a safe space to get to know your feelings more deeply and explore ways to find more stability.

You may also have a mix of feelings right after completing your ADHD evaluation (whether by a professional of self-diagnosis). You may also find the therapy room a safe space to process your experience of getting the diagnosis, grieving the lack of diagnosis in your past, and exploring your feelings about your path moving forward.

Self-compassion

ADHD brains often come with loud inner critics. It may be due to the negative feedback received as a child or may be due to how the brain is wired. Regardless of the reason, it can feel unrelenting. You may find yourself stuck in endless spirals of self-criticism and never find yourself stopping to think about if it is helping.

A neurodiversity affirming therapist will be your biggest cheerleader and also help you become your biggest cheerleader. Therapists can help with developing self-compassion. This doesn’t mean adding in affirmations. Your therapist can work with you on feeling more comfortable with compliments from others, adding in kind self-talk, and practicing extending the same compassion to yourself that you so freely offer to your friends.

Psychotherapy can be an effective tool in your toolkit to help manage your ADHD. Therapy offers a multifaceted approach to managing ADHD. The therapeutic process provides a space to not only address the symptoms of ADHD but also to embrace and work with your individual strengths and challenges. Seeking therapy is a proactive step towards understanding and thriving with ADHD. It’s an opportunity to create a personalized path forward, filled with strategies and supports that resonate with your own experiences.