Navigating LGBTQIA+ Rights in the Therapy Room: Reflections on Advocacy, Inclusion, and Creating Safe Spaces

By Kimberly Harkey

LGBTQIA+ rights are in the news, as they always seem to be. This time, it’s in the headlines of my favorite sport: Women’s Soccer. Korbin Albert, a US Women’s National Team Player, shared homophobic and transphobic content on her social media. After being called out, she posted an apology.

I don’t feel called to write about this because it’s surprising. It’s not. I feel called to write about it because it brings to mind the constant dissonance that all LGBTQIA+ folks live with in the US. The constant stress of assessing each person you meet and not knowing if they are truly accepting or if they are playing nice while posting anti-gay marriage messages on social media. There exists the very real stress of existing in a society that has debates about laws against your marriage, your bathroom choice, and your ability to rent a house or buy a cake. There’s also the stress and dread about what is looming in the future while more anti-LGBTQIA+ laws are always being discussed at every level of government.

LGBTQIA+ folks aren’t unique in experiencing this. Many marginalized identities carry this same stress. Folks with more than one marginalized identity carry an even heavier burden and stress level. Living in a society where homophobia, transphobia, racism, ageism, ableism, and many other discriminatory beliefs are held at the individual level and institutionalized at the governmental level is stressful and often traumatic.

Individuals will always be affected by policies and systems created by politicians. It is core to the human experience. Some systems create a place where we can thrive and some systems add to human suffering. The suffering inevitably shows up in the therapy room. It is what makes it impossible for therapy to be neutral. 

Therapists cannot be neutral about discrimination and oppression. Therapy must include an acknowledgement of the stressors and trauma that come from oppressive and broken systems. Therapy includes processing the stress of seeing headlines where people disapprove of your humanity and headlines of the horrific events happening around the globe. The therapy room is a safe space for processing the weight of all that is happening around us and how that affects our very being. Therapists hold space for the problems that people feel powerless to changes and for the brainstorming of ways to create change. Therapy is interwoven with deep personal insight, thorough examination of systemic issues, and exploration of ways to advocate and fight for a better world.

In the Korbin Albert story, Former USWNT star and LGBTQIA+ advocate, Megan Rapinoe is the one who jumped in to highlight the bigger issues and push for a better world. In her response to Albert, she posted:

 ‘For people who want to hide behind “my beliefs” I would just ask one question, are you making any type of space safer, more inclusive, more whole, any semblance of better, bringing the best out of anyone?….. Because if you aren’t, all you believe in is hate. And Kids are literally killing themselves because of this hate. Wake, TF Up.”

(Other player responses here and the US Players Association Response here. ) 

What great questions to be reflecting on. What kinds of spaces do we want to create? Are you bringing the best out in others? Are you helping people feel safe? 

I invite you to reflect on a few more questions to dive deeper inward:

• How do you want to be remembered? What words do you want people to use to describe you in your eulogy?
• How do you know when a space is safe? 
• What does it look like for someone to bring the best out in you? What do they bring out? What parts of you shine brightly in those moments?
• What do you see as your part in creating a more inclusive world? What actions can you take each moment, each week, each day? 

As we face this world full of trauma, may we reflect on the world we want to create and the humans we want to be. May we create spaces – both inside and outside of the therapy room- that are safe, inclusive, and accepting. May those spaces be whole enough to hold ALL of our human experiences.